Noisy bikers won't get off high Hogs

[speed]

By Guy Tridgell

This case of swine flu is worse than any of us could have imagined. Like any infection, if you pick at the symptoms, sometimes they get irritated. Sometimes, they even get inflamed.

I am talking specifically about the plague of bikers - Hog riders, in particular - loudly trolling the suburbs over the summer on gasoline-powered Whoopee cushions, not giving a care about who they bother with their obnoxious throttle-rapping.

I addressed the problem in this space last week. The response was deafening.

A Tinley Park woman wanted to know if it was OK for her to lay a strip of nails in front of her house to stop the clowns on Harley-Davidsons who roar out their driveway two doors down every morning, noon and night. There were several calls like hers.

I also learned a large segment of the biker population believes that if you don't like the sound of an amplified pig wafting into your space, you must love listening to Clay Aiken, nibbling on Brie and sipping Zima. You might even be a communist.

But mostly I was fed the macho nonsense that bikers absolutely must outfit their machines with noisy aftermarket exhaust systems because the rest of us cannot be trusted to drive responsibly. Parts with names such as Thunder Monster Baffle and Screaming Eagle really are intended to promote safety.

"Loud pipes save lives" is the motto. Or, in other words, "My bike has to shake everything in sight so you don't pull in front of me with your car."

Too bad the argument is about as hollow as the pipes themselves.

Seems pretty obvious that exhaust pipes generate noise in the direction you just came, not in the direction you are heading. A straight pipe with nothing in it makes a lot of noise - and that's it.

Most responsible biker groups agree.

The American Motorcyclist Association, the Motorcycle Industry Council, even Harley-Davidson, have asked their followers to pipe down for years and drop the loud pipes blather or risk sounding like Neanderthals.

Robert Gladden, director of program services for the Motorcycle Safety Foundation and an avid biker himself, still is waiting for the proof that loud pipes do anything to save lives.

"I have never seen any data to support that statement, but I've heard it said 100,000 times," Gladden said. "I work in motorcycle safety all day. I look at accident data. I look at accident avoidance data. I'll respect anyone's opinion, but until I see the data, I'm not going to believe it.

"The downside is it does an awful lot of harm to the rest of the motorcyclists in the community."

Not like any data should be necessary.

In Illinois, it's already illegal to replicate the sound of a small battlefield with aftermarket parts.

The law, part of the Illinois Vehicle Code, reads, in part, "No person shall modify the exhaust system of a motor vehicle in a manner which will amplify or increase the noise of such vehicle above that emitted by the muffler originally installed on the vehicle."

And, yes, the law applies to the knuckleheads who do the same sort of thing to their cars.

If you don't like it, change the law.

But that's not going to happen. The fact the law is on the books means the vast majority of people established long ago that they don't want to deal with the racket from a few folks who believe their rights are more important than the rest of ours.

The only reason the law isn't enforced is police haven't found a decent way, short of giving cops a decibel meter.

In Denver, they found a way.

Two years ago, after community surveys determined the No. 1 complaint from neighborhoods was motorcycle noise, the city got tough. An accident involving a biker who smacked into a fire truck because he couldn't hear the sirens over his cycle also contributed to the urgency.

Paul Riedesel, the city's noise enforcement officer, said Denver now requires all exhaust systems to have a stamp declaring they meet U.S. Environmental Protection Agency standards for noise levels. If you get pulled over and don't have a stamp, you get a $500 ticket. If the proper steps are taken to get in compliance, the ticket is thrown out, he said.

"For us, it's worked," Riedesel said. "If someone is screaming for attention, we will give it to them. If you don't give us a reason to pull you over, we won't."

The ordinance, he said, has withstood several challenges in court.

What about the spike in accidents?

Didn't happen.

And those business that were supposed to suffer when the biker dollars left town?

"We haven't had one business come back to us and say they were suffering," Riedesel said.

Remember that motto? "Loud Pipes Save Lives."

Time for an update: "Empty Pipes, Empty Heads."

Click here to respond to Guy.

Cheers,
Speed

[Mominatrix]

It never ceases to amaze me how people continue to beat this old dead horse. We live in a neighborhood where most folks are retired. We ride quietly and respectfully in our neighborhood. We have had an occasional visitor do a burn out or two in the drive but it's the exception not the rule. ( and it was still funny LOL). These stuffed shirts need to find something of real importance to support. There are far too many other things in our environment of much greater importance than this. What a cry baby this guy is.