how the fight started

[HeadDoc]

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
> cemetery plot as a
> Christmas gift.
>
> The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
>
> When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
> haven't used the gift
> I bought you last year!"
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
> ****
************************************************** ******************
>
> My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the
> tv?"
>
> I replied "Dust".
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
> ************************************************** **********************
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
> husband, 'I feel
> horrible;
> I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment.'
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
> perfect..'
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
> ************************************************** **********************
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> anniversary. She
> said,
> 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in
> about 3 seconds.
>
> I bought her a scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
> ************************************************** **********************
> I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
> anniversary?'
>
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
> appreciation.
>
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she
> said.
>
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ********************************************
****************************
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were in
> bed.
> I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have
> sex?'
>
> 'No,' she answered.
>
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> She didn't even look at me this time simply saying
> 'Yes.'
>
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ************************************************** **********************
>
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
> for $14.95.
>
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
> her the beer
> would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my
> order first.
>
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
> please.'
>
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad
> cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>