Threat Level European Style...

[Talisman]

The English are feeling the pinch as a result of recent terrorist activities and have raised their security level from
"Miffed" to "Peeved." Rumours abound that security levels may be raised yet again -- to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the 1940 Blitz, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

In related news, the French government yesterday raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert state, from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."
They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO
pulling out of Brussels.